What The Toot!

Hean, now filling in while Khensthoth is away. Today’s update on If You Hate Jews:

A short one. If you hate Jews, you are this guy:

Ahmad on If You Hate Jews

Previously, claiming that he was just citing historical fact, Ahmad Ismail called Malaysian Chinese as squatters. Now, he’s warning Malaysian Chinese not to be American Jews. Yet, Ahmad Ismail is not a racist, or so he claimed.

This is something we at WhatTheToot imagine Ahmad would say: “I am not a racist. I just hate Jews.

Well, having established that if you hate all Jews blindly because of whatever reason, that you should never go to Monash University, and in fact should hate David Beckham, let’s home on to something else.

Most of us wear clothes. If you are like the billions of conformist out there, you would heard of, and possibly like fashion brands like CK, Levi’s and Ralph Lauren. Oh, what an irony - all of them are of Jewish decent. Calvin Klein was born to Jewish-Hungarian immigrants in The Bronx. Levi Strauss of Levi’s was born Löb Strauß. He was a Jew born in Germany who later immigrated to United States of America. Ralph Lauren, of Polo Ralph Lauren fame, was born Ralph Rueben Lifshitz, also in The Bronx.

Oh Allah, how sinful would it be to put on a Polo shirt, a Levi’s jeans and use some CK perfume or cologne if you are one of those people who hate all Jews. What did you say - you don’t wear jeans? Only formal pants like those from Dockers? Guess what - Dockers is a subsidiary of Levi’s.

Guess you are limited to local brands like Padini then. Tough luck.

P.S.: All these talk made me look like some kinda Jew-loving Malay-hating guy. I do not love Jews, nor do I hate Malay. I am merely pointing out the irony of hating all Jews when almost in every aspect of our lives, we come into contact with them. I am against people hating other people when they themselves are confused why they hate them in the first place.

After we have ascertain that you are in no condition to go to Monash University if you hate Jews, let’s turn our attention to sports.

So, Malay (who hate Jews), do you like soccer? Do you admire David Beckham for his cult superstar status? Do you admire him for his hot wife? For his talent? Anything at all?

Now you CAN’T! Since you hate Jews, you should hate him. Death to all Jews? He is part Jewish - his maternal grandmother is Jewish, and he has described himself as “half Jewish”. He is even sending his son to a Jewish nursery. Oh, ever wondered why he wears all the long sleeve shirt in his games? He has tattoos all over his body - and I am sure that’s pretty contradictory to Muslim teachings. He even has tattoo in Hebrew.

How does that make you feel, Jews-hating Muslim who likes soccer and admire David Beckham? Death to all Jews? Think before you shout anything.

I have been meaning to write this for a long time. Starting today, I am going to introduce a new series onto WhatTheToot, called “If You Hate Jews …”

Specifically, it will list out the things that you should NOT do if you hate Jews, either the Jewish faith or the Jewish ethnicity. This series is specially targeted to only one target group - Malaysians. More particularly, Malay (who hate Jews).

I have decided to write this as I have been extremely uncomfortable with the way Jews are regarded by Malay (who hate Jews). Specifically, these people are fanatical Muslim that hate people for reasons I cannot yet fathom.  “Death to the Jews” (Para 4, last line) in a Malaysian Muslim protest? What the fuck? If the protest, and that kind of language happen in Palestine, then I could mildly comprehend. However, it’s not like a Jew has ever done anything to a Malaysian Muslim.

The exact period this kind of anti-Jews behaviour started is hard to estimate - I can only speculate it started when Mahathir starts hating Jews (for no apparent reason). For Yehovah’s sake, he’s half Indian. Why does he hate Jews so much? What have Jews done to his family, or him personally? I would say nothing.

Another thing - if you DO really hate Jews, and you are Muslims, you are NOT an anti-semite. That’s of course unless you hate all the Arabs there, for they are Semites too. Am I an anti-semite, I would say no. Nor am I a Malay or Muslims-hating guy. However, I have got a problem with you if you hate Jews blindly.

So, for starter, if you hate Jews, you should hate everything Jewish. Hence, by that standard, you should not go to Monash Malaysia, or Monash Australia for that matter, or any Monash campus around the world. For Allah’s sake that university is named after a Jew, Sir John Monash! My god, what a sin it would be for Jews-hating Muslims to attend a university named after a Jew.

So, my Muslim friends, stop hating Jews. That includes you, DSAI.

P.S.: If your intellectual level is much higher than mine, you might consider reading this.

In recent years, the Malaysian economy seems to be going downhill. Sure, we are still enjoying growth in terms of GDP, but which country doesn’t? We were once on par with Singapore and South Korea, only to be significantly behind them currently, relatively speaking.

I am here to provide a simple and elegant explanation to that without the use of any complicated economic models. First you must understand two traditional Chinese culture/ believe/ superstition/ mythology:

• Nian beast (年兽): Comes out at every Chinese New Year to terrorise people and harm children. Also associated with bad luck and all. It is sensitive to loud noise and the red colour, which is why the Chinese use firecracker and red-colour decorating to scare them off.

Photo under CC License by Leonard G. Click for larger view. Look at how scary they are.

• Firecracker: Firecrackers are believed by some to scare off evil spirits and attract the god of wealth to people’s doorsteps. Different varieties available, with a lot of different visual effects Typically contains a fuse and explosive powder.

So, according to Wikipedia article on firecracker, Malaysia has banned any form of firecrackers under the Malaysian Explosive Act “in 1991 as a result of the increasing injuries among children (especially Malay) during Hari Raya festive season. Ironically, the injury cases caused by playing firecrackers continue to increase every year since Malay children turned to home-made firecrackers such as bamboo cannons as alternatives to commercial fireworks.” (verbatim from Wikipedia)

I personally think firecrackers should only be played with adult supervision, and becuase *some people* are prone to injuring themselves playing firecracker doesn’t mean it have to be banned. This is because banning it has dire consequences for the economy.

See, every year nian comes out terrorising people, causing bad luck. Banning firecracker means not scaring Nian beast enough to ward them off. Furthermore, no playing with firecracker means no scaring off evil spirits and no attracting the god of wealth and prosperity.

As a result, economy goes into slump. Perhaps this is why China recently lifted its ban on firecrackers? Look at how the economy is booming! So as a summary, banning firecrackers in Malaysia causes Nian to terrorise people, no god of wealth and prosperity, and thus - BAD economy.

Oh. And I think banning firecracker is a violation and a disrespect to Chinese culture and tradition. If only the government would allow firecracker to be played freely (freedom, not price) again, I am sure the countries would be more harmonious. We would also see children of different races playing firecrackers together, further strengthening the national unity.

Banning firecracker = Bad.