What The Toot!

WARNING: This post may induce uncontrollable urge to write angry emails and to “flame” me.
WARNING: This post may also be controversial. If you are uncomfortable, DO NOT continue reading.

I was reading the news again, when I came across this and this. While most people will feel love and warmth when they read the news, I on the other hand, think otherwise.

Triplets bring joy and hardship

The first report was dated 18th July. It brings to the attention a couple with five children, including a triplets, and talks about how hard life is going to be now that they have the new triplets.

To the aid of the triplets' parents

The second report is dated today, and it talks about the people feeling good about themselves donating to this couple, and how are different people trying to help them differently. Heck, another Chinese Daily has also reported that three Australians, Melbournians to be exact has decided to support the expenses of the triplets by wiring at least RM350 into the account of the father monthly. They will also encourage their friends and family to donate when they are back in Melbourne.

While I will not dwell with the issue of the age difference between the man and wife, which really is a non-issue here, I really have to comment on their financial planning. A family of four earning a combined household income of RM1500 really has NO BUSINESS reproducing. In fact, I am not even sure the monthly income will be enough to sustain the two older kids through primary, secondary and even tertiary education. We also have to consider that the father is of “retirement age”. How long can he keep up with the same income? How can he cope with rising living expenses?

Haven’t the family heard about proper financial planning, proper family planning, and contraception? They can have all the bodily pleasure they want, but considering their income, they really should not be trying for any more children. People will refute me by saying it’s their right to reproduce, and I will agree completely. However, it’s also their rights and responsibility to make sure they have the income to support any addition to the family.

And what’s with the amount of charity and donation the couple is receiving? What kind of message are we sending here - that if you are poor you can have all the kids you want and people will take care of them for you? If the parents have no means of raising the children, then they should let them go, and let them be adopted. How can one be sure that they will not spend all the donations and aids in one go? When should the aid stop? In fact, what if the aid stops coming suddenly - what next?

That said, I hope the government start thinking seriously about providing family planning session to the people, particularly towards families who are prone to reproduce excessively without considering their financial situation. One of the reasons of poverty is the lack of financial and family planning. Education is the answer to poverty - NOT aid.

StatCounter is one of those free web statistical system that records user visits. I use it, along with Google Analytics (too complicated) and Wordpress.com Stat (non-functional). Currently StatCounter is the only one that provide free, easy, real-time analysis. While it is great at that, it’s totally useless in IP-Geolocation - determining the location using IP. Let’s look at some example:

Perth is an island off the coast of Australia according to StatCounter.

Kuala Terengganu is closer to Penang than to Terengganu.

Kota Kinabalu is now some obscure island in the South China Sea.

Pay special attention to this one. The “ISP” indicated that it is Melaka Manipal Medical College in Melaka. Oh hey, Melaka is actually in Kuala Lumpur according to StatCounter, and it is located in Indonesia!

Another instance Kuala Lumpur is actually somewhere in Indonesia.

What the TOOT?! This has got to be the worse website in terms of portraying their IP-Geolocation data. Seriously Toot!

WORLD, May 13 (Toot) — World renown toot site, WhatTheToot (WTT) is willing to offer a course in effort to produce more tube-clogging and entertainting bloggers. It is a response to UiTM’s offering of is blog writing course, said website CEO Khensthoth.

He said the move would also be in keeping with current developments, where the authority seems to think readers believe everything they read online. The truth is that most readers are intelligent people themselves, capable of identifying the truth from the false.

“Currently, we do have toot-ing studies in our curriculum. It is our belief that the fact that all our academics are themselves true blogger enchances our capability in providing a course on blog writting.

“I feel that the authority’s views that bloggers are generally irresponsible, and that most irresponsible bloggers are unemployed women, are totally unfounded. WhatTheToot is ready to conduct the course and I fully support this move as it is time for us to help bring some smile to the faces of out dear readers, while occationally providing some news, such as the internet is a series of tubes. We want to produce bloggers who are not only funny, but funny professionally,” he told WhatTheToot reporter while he was blogging - a sign of his capability in multi-tasking, as well as his proficiency in blogging.

Khensthoth said that academic qualifications was never, is never, and will never be a requirement for those wanting to become blog writers. A blog is like journal, just that it is posted online, and bloggers do not force people into becoming their reader. It may be true that there should be certain ethics in all aspects of our lives, not just blogging, but calling bloggers as seditious is about as true as calling journal writters, who have left their journel open on a table, seditious, espressed Khensthoth.

“I agree that everybody can be a blogger but we should not simply write as we like because there are certain rules to be observed - those that we say which is untrue, must be conveyed in a funny manner. If readers are not able to differentiate between the truth and the false, perhaps there is something very wrong with our education system,” he added.

Earlier in his speech, Khensthoth said the blogging had become an easy tool for the young as well as the old to express themselves due to its anti-establishment tendency. He said the society looked upon blogging as a space for them to express their creativity and whose development could also be seen as a process in encouraging creative eassy writting as well as joke telling.

“We should be glad that blogging exist. How else is there for us to get free entertainment? Do we have to read only the material approved by our government? Do we have to say the things our government deems are right to say? I believe by teaching blogging, we also encourage reading. It is a known fact that most Malaysian do no read books, but as how Malaysians are, who can say no to free funny reading material?” he added.

The hypothetical press conference is attended by WhatTheToot’s renown reporter, Toot, he himself a future academician for the blogging course.

– TAK BERNAMA

It’s time to for another series of “What-people-use-to-find-this site?”. It’s one of those time when I discloses some important search engine terms people use to find WhatTheToot.com. I know some people might consider this to be some invasion of privacy, but hey, everything you do on the internet is monitored, and this is really funny stuff so here goes:

Flickr logo (7 visits): I have no idea why people would want to get the logo for Flickr, except maybe to edit it or some sort, which is what we did. Sadly, all 7 visits quit directly after encountering this site.

Toot Grows Huge (6 visits): C’mon people. I specifically asked you to search for this term. See, now Flickr Logo has overtaken you. You suck.

Why guys wear tight jeans (1 visit): Well, that’s because they have no regard for their decreased fertility, and they are influenced by the advertisement from the jeans manufacturing company to wear tighter jeans, produce more girls, and drive jeans sales up.

Men in tight (1 visit): No idea what you are trying to look for here, but hey if men in tight whatever is your sort of thing, I have nothing against it.

Which font does Flickr use (1 visit): Thanks for visiting our site, but I have no idea what font they use.

Fetishism on jeans (1 visit): Right… No comment.

Exporting mineral to China (1 visit): Incidentally, this originates from Australia. I have no idea what mineral you wish to export to China, but asking the Australian Government about the procedure might have a better result than asking a search engine. In addition, I am having a sort of moral dilemma here since I assume you might be wishing to export some kind of illegal mineral to China. I might have to call CrimeStopper.

Swear Phrases (1 visit): Why do you want to learn about swear phrases? The only ultimate swear phrase is What-The-Toot, and you have better luck searching for swear phrases in Urban Dictionary. That still doesn’t explain why someone would want to learn more swear phrase. Do you feel some kind of inferiority complex when other kids are able to produce better swear phrase? In that case, I would recommend the animated film “South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut“, which has an average “fuck” word usage of 1.8 per minute. It has also won Guinness World Records for “Most Swearing in an Animated Film” (399 profane words, including 146 uses of “fuck”, 128 offensive gestures and 221 acts of violence). You can learn all about tooting long swear phrases that you have never imagine of in the film. Pay particular attention to what Eric Cartman has to say.

Where to get tight jeans in Australia for men (1 visit): Any good department store will have it. If you are unable to find it in the men’s department, try your luck in the women’s department instead.

How to wear tight jeans and not look emo (1 visit): What is with tight jeans? Stop it already. It’s affecting your fertility, and particularly the sex of your child.

Chinese Pee (1 visit): What the toot is wrong with you? Do you have some kinda mental disturbance to cause you to have a certain fetish to Chinese Pee? On the other hand, I absolutely encourage you to invent a technology which would convert Chinese Pee cheaply and efficiently. You will earn a lot of money.

There you have it people. The links refer you to the particular post the search terms landed. All the search terms originate in Google. I will come back next time for more. Stay tuned.

After a more than a month since we started this site, we finally got our first hate comment! I was delighted that people actually comment on my blog, even if they are here to say bad things.

aag | aag@abc.com | IP: 69.229.228.96
go 2 hell n burn there
May 18, 11:47 AM DELL to Offer Ubuntu 7.04

As a advocate for freedom of speech, I approved the comment. I was curious about the motive of this person posting a hate comment on my blog, and was wondering how the “DELL to Offer Ubuntu 7.04″ post could have motivate him so much to post a hate comment.

A little investigation using the on-site statistics tool revealed that the commentator came from KennySia.com, specifically, a post about an accident he witnessed. The post contained some horrific photographs of the accident taken by Kenny Sia, and some people accused him for using those photographs for the personal benefit of driving traffic to his website.

I posted a neutral comment on the blog. Within a time frame of slightly more than one hour, I received the hate comment. This made the whole thing clear to me, and was my motive behind my second comment on KennySia.com. Based on the time stamp and the time zone difference, I have concluded that the commentator visited his site and possibly commented between 8.35 AM and 9.47AM. However, I was unable to find any commentator which goes by that name on his blog.

I could figure out this. The commentator visit his site, saw my neutral comment, took it as a negative comment after reading some previous or subsequent ones, possibly figured I was a cold hearted person, click the link to this blog, scroll down to the bottom and posted the hate comment. This would explain why he chose the Ubuntu post specifically.

To the hater:

I am sorry that I offended you, but my comment on KennySia.com is not a negative one. I know you might be a number one fan of his to have come here to post a hate comment to defend him.

I am posting your IP as I do not think there’s anything wrong with it, you should have prepared yourself for any attack of hackers, even if do not post the hate comment. I do recommend setting up Firewall and using NetGear or Linksys modem or router with built-in Firewall. The next time you post a hate comment, you might want to use a proxy too.

I am also posting your email address as I do not think it is yours, and I have checked that it’s not a genuine email address. I figured people from the famous television channel ABC.com would have a better command of English grammar and spelling.

Thirdly, I am not of any religious faith and thus I do not believe in hell, and certainly will not burn there. Even if I choose to believe in hell, I wish to believe in a cold one, so you might want to say “go 2 hell n freeze there”.

Finally, I would like to express my deepest appreciation to you for visiting my site and especially participate in commenting. Most of the visitors to this site exit almost immediately, let alone comment in any post.

Thanks again. I hope we are even and we could be friends.