Archive for category Religion

Ridiculous Religion Site Stupid

Ever since WordPress supported tags, we have been tagging each post because we believe it’s a better way to organise and find things that way compared to the archaic Categories (which I would add we still use as if they were tags). Over the years we have used quite a number of tags, and WordPress has a sidebar widget to automatically change the font size of the tags according to the times it is used. See the sidebar if you don’t understand.

Admittedly, we have talked about religion on this blog quite a lot, and our love for the Pastafarianism religion and the Flying Spaghetti Monster is quite evident. Perhaps then, by divine intervention, the tags have aligned themselves together to create a powerful message for all to see, although those tags were never used in tandem.

Of course they are

As if FSM is not ridiculous

Now THAT is what we call a message from God. We particularly like the part where Stupid were the most emphasised of all. A “Rediculous Religion Site Stupid” example would be “The Church of the Whale Penis” known to us many years ago. No, I AM deadly serious:

Yes, it's huge.

Yes, it's huge.

But perhaps one of the MOST ridiculous thing (even by crazy “Whale-penisism” standard) we have came across is from a book we got from a booth of an Islamic RMIT student association spreading the word of Islam, supposedly. We have a terribly good laugh looking at the so-called evidence of God in Quran, and forgot about it – until we rediscovered it online. Apparently the whole book is for all to see online.

Image from Pharyngula blog, originally from A Brief Illustrated Guide to Understanding Islam

Image from Pharyngula blog, originally from A Brief Illustrated Guide to Understanding Islam

No, we are serious – the book compared the embryo to a “chewed substance” or a piece of chewing gum with teeth marks in it and call that evidence of the miracles in the Holy Quran. Now THAT is “Rediculous Religion Site Stupid”.

The next stage mentioned in the verse is the mudghah stage. The Arabic word mudghah means “chewed substance.” If one were to take a piece of gum and chew it in his or her mouth and then compare it with an embryo at the mudghah stage, we would conclude that the embryo at the mudghah stage acquires the appearance of a chewed substance. This is because of the somites at the back of the embryo that “somewhat resemble teethmarks in a chewed substance.”

Intrigued, we decided to do some research on that phrase in the Holy Quran. We referred to at least five translations, in English and Malay, of that specific phrase in the Holy Quran. We are not at all proficient in the Islamic religion, which is why we used translation. And all translations point to one conclusion – that the Embryo-Gum metaphor is totally ridiculous. All of them made more sense (even scientifically speaking) than the said metaphor.

Man We did create from a quintessence (of clay); Then We placed him as (a drop of) sperm in a place of rest, firmly fixed; Then We made the sperm into a clot of congealed blood; then of that clot We made a (foetus) lump; then we made out of that lump bones and clothed the bones with flesh; then we developed out of it another creature. So blessed be Allah, the best to create!

Now, we are not even sure if the book, in print and in online form, is a parody of the religion, or do some Muslim take them for Quranic miracles. We don’t even know if the RMIT Islamic students read and understood what they were handing out freely that day. I am sure they should have checked the facts, or at least the translation in the books, lest they misled people like me.

P.S.: We are not “bashing” Islam. We are just bashing some bad translation of the Quran.

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How do people find our site?

After a long hiatus, this series is back. This post, however, will just be a short one, serving as a teaser of things to come.

Seriously F-up

Seriously F-up

Let’s see where this visitor came from then:

IP blurred for his sake.

IP blurred for his sake.

The Verizon hostname and the browser language flag should be a dead give away – that is to say, the visitor is an Amerifag (to use his/her choice of language), more commonly known as Americunt (Yes, it’s an Internet lingo). The IP address indicated that the visitor is from a small town in north-eastern United States.

It’s a little ironic that the keyword search landed on a category page for racism, as if his God was trying to lead him there. That should teach him/her a lesson or two about respect, xenophobia, and homosexuality.

More importantly though, I didn’t know one could find this site on the first page of Google Images search results using the keywords “allah is fag”. What that American visitor was trying to find, in Google Images no less, about THAT though,  continues to baffle me.

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Stupid Quotes

Let’s talk about some stupid quotes by some politicians, and generally, people in power in Malaysia.

Stupid Idiot

Stupid Idiot

The original news piece can be read in full here. If anyone wants any clarification, here’s the quote:

You should not use these at your whim and fancy.Are you qualified to speak about the caliph? Even the phrase “amar ma’ruf nahi mungkar” has been used in your posters all over the place.It has not been ascertained if you or even Professor P. Ramasamy is qualified to use them.The matter should be referred for clarification with the mufti who has to determine if you can use the caliph’s name and the phrase, - Datuk Seri Dr Hilmi Yahaya (Teluk Bahang-BN)

Who the heck gave Muslims or anyone the monopoly to talk about a single caliph or any Arabic verses. No doubt, it’s from the Quran, but it’s just like any verse in any language. So is the caliph’s name. Anyone has the right to use it, at one’s “whim and fancy”. Just like when I used Dr. Hilmi Yahaya’s name by calling him a stupid idiot.

Next up, another politician. This time, he is from the ruling party:

An assemblymen has urged the state to impose a RM10 tax on each foreign tourist visiting Penang to help improve public facilities which would lure more tourists to the state. “This proposal would help the state increase its earnings by RM10mil a year if a million foreign tourists visited Penang,’’ he said when debating the Budget 2009.

I know Penang is tight on money, but this is just ridiculous. Firstly, who constitute a foreign tourist? If Lau Keng Ee (DAP – Pengkalan Kota) meant international tourist, their numbers are estimated to be 1.4 million yearly. That’s just RM 14 million annually, provided that such stupid plans do not reduce the number of tourist. The whole state of Penang has a budget of over RM300 million, and RM14 million just does not seem significant anymore. Furthermore, who wants to visit Penang if it has an “entry fee”, and it’s perpetually dirty?

Finally, a fatwa has been issued on yoga, after one was issued on tomboy recently. This is the worst of all.

Only the physical aspect of yoga without the mantras and elements of worshipping outwardly was not wrong (in Islam). However, yoga was not to be encouraged among Muslims for fear that it could erode their Islamic faith since the physical part was a component of yoga practice as a whole.  – Datuk Dr Abdul Shukor Husin, Chairman of National Fatwa Council of Malaysia

Fark. Fark on so many levels! I guess they fail to realise most yoga centres just teach the physical exercise without any mantras. Next, how are they going to implement it? Raid yoga centres, raid private homes? Prevent muslims from buying yoga books? Fark! If a Muslim’s faith can so be eroded so easily, clearly he doesn’t deserve to be one.

Sometimes I do wonder about the intellectual capabilities of the politicians in Malaysia, ruling or not.

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Of God and Penis

After I watched a very interesting video on YouTube, I read some of the comments just to see the average mentality of the YouTube commentators. Normally this concists of things like “First”, “LOL”, “STFU” or more vulgar comments with even worse grammar. However, since this was quite a long, serious and scientific video, the comments were not too bad.

The topic suddenly switch to the gender of god. A commentator claims if God created Adam in his image, God must have a penis. Someone replied, and I thought its one of the funniest and intelligent comments I have seen yet. So good, in fact, I voted it up.

In case you didn’t know which one is it, here’s the comment reproduced:

If God has a penis then ipso facto there must be a Mrs. God, otherwise what the hell’s his penis for?

The comment just goes to prove how absurd and useless it is to talk about the gender of God, and in fact, God itself.

Oh you didn’t find that funny? STFU!

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If You Hate Jews … (3)

Well, having established that if you hate all Jews blindly because of whatever reason, that you should never go to Monash University, and in fact should hate David Beckham, let’s home on to something else.

Most of us wear clothes. If you are like the billions of conformist out there, you would heard of, and possibly like fashion brands like CK, Levi’s and Ralph Lauren. Oh, what an irony – all of them are of Jewish decent. Calvin Klein was born to Jewish-Hungarian immigrants in The Bronx. Levi Strauss of Levi’s was born Löb Strauß. He was a Jew born in Germany who later immigrated to United States of America. Ralph Lauren, of Polo Ralph Lauren fame, was born Ralph Rueben Lifshitz, also in The Bronx.

Oh Allah, how sinful would it be to put on a Polo shirt, a Levi’s jeans and use some CK perfume or cologne if you are one of those people who hate all Jews. What did you say – you don’t wear jeans? Only formal pants like those from Dockers? Guess what – Dockers is a subsidiary of Levi’s.

Guess you are limited to local brands like Padini then. Tough luck.

P.S.: All these talk made me look like some kinda Jew-loving Malay-hating guy. I do not love Jews, nor do I hate Malay. I am merely pointing out the irony of hating all Jews when almost in every aspect of our lives, we come into contact with them. I am against people hating other people when they themselves are confused why they hate them in the first place.

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