Bad Translation
Yes, that is an actual sign found in a secluded place in The University of Melbourne. It’s almost as if someone insert the Mandarin phrase into an online translation service and just copied the output.
Almost… as Google Translate gave even worse results:
Equally bad translation
Oct 20
Not to be confused with "Pondan" in Malay language. Product found in Indonesian supermaket in Melbourne.
Yea… coz’ apparently the word Pondan doesn’t mean the same thing in Indonesian language and Malay language. Heck, the word doesn’t even exist in the Indonesian language. And no, I am not making this up. Check it out, they have a whole range of Pondan product available.
Don’t get me wrong – I am not a homophobe. I really do want to see this kind of products made available in Malaysia, all Pondan products. I just hope they have a better marketing/branding team in Malaysia, lest they make the mistake in the urban myth of the Chevy Nova.
I just upgraded my operating system to the latest beta of Ubuntu Karmic Koala to test it and have fun with it. Overall, it has turned out to be a fine release so far. As part of my upgrade however, I thought I would change the way I use computer and access applications, which is why I install Gnome Do and enabled Docky. Here’s how my current desktop look like:
Ubuntu 9.10 Beta with Docky
Anyway, one of the docklets included in Gnome Do is the weather docklet, which allows me to see the current temperature and a six day forecast of the temperature and the weather conditions with just a click. So, there I was checking the forecast when I was extremely shocked to see this:
Yes, it's that cold.
If that’s not immediately clear to you, have a look at Docky alone.
Doomsday on Friday
Yes, it’s going to be -5572°C in Melbourne this Friday. Even colder than theoretical absolute zero, in fact exactly -5298.15°C colder. Hell is freezing over Melbourne literally. Come to think of it, how is a low of 5°C and a high of 5572°C even be possible?
On second thought, I decided to refresh the weather data to see if there is any glitch:
Now THAT'S cold
Immediately the temperature dropped 29°C. For other days, Melbourne will be expected to enjoy weather in commonly experienced in Antarctica.
On the bright side, at least it’s going to be “just” -1747°C on Friday. Yay.
P.S.: The only graphic editing done was cropping the pictures.
P.P.S: Still, how is a high of -1747°C and a low of -26°C even comprehensible?
Nov 24
The following is the greatest thing I have learnt in The University of Melbourne. It was shown during a preparation class on how to make good flow charts, and it was pasted on the board for the whole year just to remind people how important it is.
It’s been a while since I talk about something in Australia, let alone Melbourne. Today, I am proud to present a new section in WhatTheToot! – Melbourne Worse Food Guide.
You have to take into account this site, and this piece is written by some frugal students (read: poor) who stress a lot on value for money. You also have to take into account that I have been a waiter before, and has worked in the Athlete’s Village during the 2006 Commonwealth Games in Melbourne.
You also have to take the word “Food” in Melbourne Worse Food Guide in a non-literal approach. Food is but a function of the restaurant, and a restaurant can be judged on its cleanliness, quality of food, quality of service, and everything else. So, by “Worse Food Guide”, I mean places you shouldn’t even consider going to.
Without further adieu, let me present to you the first ever, and currently on my top list, the worse food in Melbourne – Supper Inn Chinese Restaurant.
The worst restaurant in Melbourne
A week ago, a friend was staying with us. He was hungry around midnight, and our sister recommended Supper Inn to us. Having lived in Melbourne for more than three years, I have never visited the place – since its located in a dirty alley, directly in front of a few hugh rubbish bins – your average Melbourne Chinese restaurant.
As soon as we enter the premise, no one greeted or seat us. The supposed (we assumed) manager nonchalantly act as if he didn’t care while he pick up the menus, before seating us. He should have done the opposite.
We then noticed the exorbitant price. Students aren’t exactly rich, and while the shop is open until 3 in the morning, the premium they charge is way too much. A few minutes later, a waiter walked close to our table with his notepad, ready to take our order.
His presentation was average – the average asshole that is. His hair was dyed golden, which made him looked like Homo Golden Monkey. We asked him to give us a minute (since the food was pricey and we are finding cheap alternatives), and he walked away without saying a thing. We contemplated walking out of the store, but then there aren’t many stores which are open in the wee hours of a Monday morning.
We decided to get the cheapest food – congee, and we signalled the waiter. We asked how big the a bowl of congee is, and he seemed to have a very hard time articulating and expressing himself, making him a closer relative of the chimpanzee than the average human. I asked if its bigger than the bowl sitting in front of us, he agreed, and we (my brother, his friend, and me) ordered three different congee.
We finished our congee 15 minutes later, and was chatting away there while sipping some Chinese tea. We placed the cover of the teapot in a way that signalled to them that we wanted the teapot refilled. The waiter came over, collected our empty bowls, place the bill in front of us, and walked away. We were a little pissed, and asked him back to refill our teapot.
He took away the teapot, and we were still chatting there. We placed a 20 dollar note on the tray with the receipt. A waitress came over to take the money away and said “Thank You” to us. At least there’s still a single hospitality staff in the store with some decent attitude.
Another waiter came over with the change in a tray and removed all the tea cups in a way that indicated he is not happy, and we are not welcome. We raised our voices to say we are still waiting for some tea, and he mumbled something that sounded like “If you paid the bill that means you do not want anything and wants to leave.” We said no, he placed the cups back on our table angrily and walked away without being apologetic. We further raised our voice and asked for the manager.
The idiot signalled to the Homo Golden Monkey and a few minutes went by before the Golden Monkey gave us our tea. However, no manager came to our table. We were pissed.
While we drank our tea, the waiters and supposed manager sat down. They started conversing in Cantonese, and thinking we do not understand anything, they said something that goes along the line of “they only ordered 3 bowls of congee”. The rest of the conversation, one can reasonably expect, would be badmouthing us. The worse part is the manager took of his shoes and played with it with his feet. Professionalism and creditability – none to negative.
Five minutes passed, we finished our tea, and still no manager. Of course, we left the store after that, and vowed never to come back.
Overall, the food was good, at least my congee was. The friend’s, and my brother’s were not for me to judge. However, the unwelcoming attitude, facade, atmosphere, and having two complete idiots as waiters, with a fuck-you-I-don’t-care manager would enough to make you think twice about even stepping up the stairs to the premise.
We do not expect excellent service, but we do expect to be treated politely with some decency. Sadly, those were missing from Supper Inn Chinese Restaurant. For that we rate it the worse food in Melbourne, with negative infinity stars. You should probably stay away.
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